A little over a month ago in July, during Felipe Mora's his dramatic final game for the Portland Timbers, I was lamenting and shaking my head at the universe. Mora, set to depart Portland and sitting on the mythical MLS hat trick having scored two goals, was subbed off with 20 minutes left in the match.
The curse struck again, and as I am wont to do I fired off a post on social media:
It's never gonna happen. Never ever. I will be 90 years old and the president Mr. Beast Jr. will have turned the country into the literal hunger games. And the Portland Timbers still will not have scored an MLS hat trick. #RCTID
— Sam Svilar (@sammich923.bsky.social) July 25, 2026 at 9:17 PM
Now, as we sit in September and I am decidedly not 90 years old, the Portland Timbers have scored an MLS hat trick.
Thank goodness I'm wrong.
There is no corner of my heart I would not turn over to the world for three goals
Somewhere between Vincent Janssen's second and third goals last weekend, I got to thinking: "How are we going to remember the man who finally breaks the hat trick curse, and the moment it happens?" Because despite my obviously hilarious social media post, I did fully believe that somebody was going to score an MLS hat trick for the Portland Timbers eventually. The only question remained who.