The Portland Timbers outlasted Minnesota United FC 5-4 in a wild nine-goal epic at Providence Park which saw Vincent Janssen make history by scoring the first ever MLS hat trick for the Portland Timbers.
Five goals marked the first half, with Portland holding a one goal edge at halftime. Minnesota equalized early in the second half, but Janssen's history-making third goal restored Portland's advantage. It also made Janssen the first player in Portland's 16-year MLS history to score a hat trick in league play. Velde added on what wound up being the winner, and Portland survived an all-timer of a match in Goose Hollow.
Lineups & Prematch
Coming off of the deflating loss last week against Austin, Marti Cifuentes stuck to his guns and started a very similar starting XI. The only change was up top, as the previously suspended Vincent Janssen got the nod at striker over Gage Guerra. Diego Chara returned to the bench, and the other name in reserve to highlight was newly-acquired defender Joel Waterman.
The stadium started to fill nicely as the sun set on a cool and picturesque early September Portland evening. With goose plushy keychains in hand in celebration of Goose Hollow Night at Providence Park, an anxious but robust crowd settled in for what they hoped would be a better showing than the last time Portland played.
If the Timbers want to make the playoffs and truly turn the page to the new era, they were going to need one for sure.
Recap & Highlights
It was a decidedly less than auspicious start to the match, as the Timbers conceded three kick crossing opportunities to the Loons. The first came after Kamal Miller was spun like a top in the second minute and conceded a free kick, which James Pantemis punched away for a corner. On that ensuing kick...
4' Save POR – Pantemis
James Pantemis put on his cape and leapt to tip over a free header from the top of the box.
Not content with just conceding near-chances to Minnesota in the opening minutes, the Timbers decided to gift them a big ol' golden chance within the opening five minutes of the match.
5' Save POR – Pantemis
Portland somehow made an absolute mess out of a goal kick routine, as Pantemis passed it into no-man's land right into Minnesota's lap. The Loons streamed forward with numbers, and Kelvin Yeboah looked sure to score. But Pants somehow cleaned up his own mess and managed to just tip Yeboah's shot off the post and out.
The first ten minutes were marked by the trademark Bad Starts (TM) that Timbers have come to be known by this year. It was all disorganization and misplayed passes for the boys in Goose Hollow yellow.
Which of course made what transpired over the next 16 minutes absolutely hilarious.
11' PK POR, GOAL TIMBERS! – Janssen (1-0)
The goal-fest kicked off via the penalty spot, after some nifty interplay in the box sprung in Jimer Fory. His shot was somehow blocked, and as Cole Bassett chased down the rebound he was tripped up and cleared out by Morris Duggan. The ref immediately pointed to the spot, and Vincent Janssen stepped up for the kick.
The Dutchman calmly sent Callender the wrong way and slotted home to open his Timbers account and kick off the scoring.
Video Credit: Kelsey Baker
20' GOAL TIMBERS!! – Own Goal [but really Lassiter] (2-0)
Now filled with an absolute head of steam, the Portland Timbers came streaming forward again. Janssen won the ball back and laid off for Ari Lassiter, who carried forward. Under no pressure from the visitors, Lassiter unleashed an absolute laser from 30 yards out. The ball pinged off the underside of the crossbar and settled over the line to double Portland's advantage.
The goal was eventually ruled an own goal and won't be attributed to Lassiter on the scoresheet, but in our hearts that one belongs to Ari.
26' GOAL TIMBERS!!! – Janssen (3-0)
The Timbers weren't done. The Stupid Midwestern Wolf Birds were caught completely on their heels, and a flowing back to front move diced up the Loons midfield like dead duck. Eric Miller released Da Costa, who drove to the end line and cut back the ball on a platter for Janssen. The striker made no mistake, and scored what at the time was the 69th brace in MLS history for the Portland Timbers.
This particular brace would wind up becoming something more and incredibly special – but we'll get to that.
Portland shook off their supremely slow start and exploded over the course of just over 15 minutes, as they punched Minnesota in the mouth and put them to the sword. The offense looked lethal and mobile, with a kind of intention and focus that Portland hasn't shown much of in the previous regime.
Unfortunately, one thing that hung over from the previous regime that they continued to show a lot of was absolutely inexplicable defensive miscues and naiveté in the back. And it let the Loons back into the game.
32' Goal Minnesota – Caldeira (3-1)
Minnesota drove forward, and Joaquin Pereyra collected the ball in the final third. Under very little pressure, he was able to turn and slip in Marcus Caldeira, who turned and finished past Pantemis at the near post.
It wad disappointing to see Portland concede so softly after waking up and exploding offensively. And it was more disappointing to see them do it again in similar fashion just six minutes later.
38' Goal Minnesota – Markanich (3-2)
Kamal Miller, who struggled mightily against Minnesota's forwards in the first half, got his pocket picked by Yeboah. The Minnesota forward drove to the end line and cut back to Anthony Markanich at the top of the box, and he rifled a shot past Pantemis to cut Portland's lead to just one.
A flurry of five goals over a 27 minute span sent heads spinning (and this particular blog boys fingers flying across the keyboard). It put all of the promise of the Timbers on full display, as well as their glaring deficiencies in equal measure. In the end, Portland held the lead going into the locker room at half time.
HALFTIME: Timbers 3, Minnesota 2
With the way the first half ended, it was important that the Timbers started the second half focused to ensure that Minnesota didn't come all the way back into– oh my god Portland just completely threw up on themselves and Minnesota already scored.
51' Goal Minnesota – Caldeira (3-3)
Reader, when I tell how egregious, awful, and mind-numbingly dumb this concession was, please know that I am somehow still underselling it. A routine ball over the top appeared to be destined to be gobbled up by Pantemis, or cleared by Surman. But it wound up being neither, as neither player went for it. And thus, they collided and the ball was easily picked up by Caldeira, who scored into an empty net.
At this point, it felt like the script had been written for the Timbers. A 3-0 lead squandered and lost via their own confounding mistakes, and an encouraging performance wasted to the altar of almost-was. A player on a brace destined to get the hook just on the cusp of glory, in the name of fitness and tactical tweaks to try to get the team over the line. We'd seen it all before.
But then, the script flipped. Portland came in transition, and Vincent Janssen carved his name into the Soccer City history books.
55' GOAL TIMBERS!!!! – Janssen (4-3)
On a counter, Cole Bassett found Ariel Lassiter on the wing. Ari cut in, and then fizzed in a ball to the top of the box for Janssen. The Dutchman was wide open in an acre of space, he spun, eyed the bottom corner, and fired home a historic goal for the Timbers.
Not only did the goal restore Portland's lead, but it finally ended the longest and most hilarious drought in MLS. After 522 games in Major League Soccer, Vincent Janssen became the first Portland Timbers player to score a hat trick in league play. So many almosts. So many what-ifs. And the duck was finally broken (on Goose Hollow night, no less!).
It kind of felt like the hat trick dominated all of the emotional space after that. The Park was in absolute delirium, hats were being tossed from the North End, and Portland was flying.
Video Credit: Kelsey Baker
Janssen got his curtain call in the 68th minute, as he was replaced by Diego Chara. He came off to raucous applause and undulations, and he deserved every single one of them.
71' GOAL TIMBERS!!!!! – Velde (5-3)
Kristoffer Velde, after hitting the woodwork twice in the first half and coming oh so close to the back of the net, finally got in on the action after a blistering counter attack from Portland. Antony, who subbed on for Lassiter, collected the ball and blew past the entire Minnesota defense. He squared the ball to Da Costa in the box, who dummied it along to Kristoff. Velde took a touch, and rifled past Callender to score Portland's fifth of the night.
The goal would prove to be decisive, as stoppage time would see Minnesota make things interesting.
90'+2 Goal Minnesota – Chancalay (5-4)
A ball over the top (sigh) beat the entire Timbers backline, and Tomás Chancalay was first to get on the end of the pass and poke past Pantemis.
Minnesota threw bodies forward afterward in an attempt to rescue a point, but thankfully, Portland's defense held just strong enough to preserve the win.
A wild night saw Portland survive their own worst habits, and net a massive three points in the playoff hunt.
And of course, it was a night where Vincent Janssen write his name into the history books. He became the man to finally score Portland's first MLS hat trick, ending the weirdest streak in the league.
FULL TIME: Timbers 5, Minnesota 4
The curse is dead, and the Timbers are still alive in the playoff hunt. Onward.
